Ginger: I just made a pun using pho. We're eating it for lunch, and I said, "I'll take mine home, pho later!"
**********
Izzy: Bill has Purple Rain on vinyl.
Ginger: Is Chocolate Rain on the other side?
**********
Ginger: I had an awful day today and wish we could snuggle and smoke a bowl under my electric blanket.
Izzy: Me too, watching Saved by the Bell. We watched X-Files last night (Adrian just got the 4th season) and it made me miss you terribly.
Ginger: It's just not the same watching it in Pitt than it was on that sketchy pulldown bed.
Izzy: I loved that bed.
Ginger: Me too...when it had sheets on and I couldn't see the sex and murder stains.
Izzy: Haha indeed, hopefully those two things didn't happen simultaneously.
Ginger: My apartment was most likely the set of a snuff film.
**********
Ginger: I wish you could shadow me sooo bad! PCI wouldn't know what hit them.
Izzy: We'd intellect-fuck them so hard they wouldn't walk right for weeks.
**********
Ginger: I love being a pain...it's really entertaining for me.
Izzy: Me too, I love to instigate. Apparently it gets my pants stolen though.
Ginger: That's really not the worst thing that could happen.
Izzy: One day I'm going to wake up and find myself naked and in a tree in Belize.Ginger: I hear they have great food and salsa dancing...
**********
Izzy: I think that if we really had our gnome cottage I would never need anything else out of life. I wish we lived in a fairy tale.
Ginger: Slash action comic. Really though, if I got to live in the gnome cottage forever I would be quite happy.
**********
Izzy: I just found a yarn called "riot eyelash", and one in a colour called "yummy white". I lol'd.
**********
Ginger: The phrase "we're hungering after Jesus" was just used by a 12-year-old boy with a rat tail. Named Levi.
Izzy: Sounds like Children of the Corn crossed with the legion of undead. Zombies invade heaven...new movie idea?
Ginger: As long as there are plenty of where we're floating around with sparkly wings.
Izzy: Shooting at white trash zombies with our ray guns.
Ginger: Can God drive over them in a tank?
Izzy: YES.
**********
Ginger: I wish we could travel on giant hopping bunnies.
Izzy: That could be painful unless we get cushiony saddles to prevent impact damage to our hoo-has. I might like a giant kangaroo that could put me in its pouch.
Ginger: That would be so velvety! And excellent for overnight travel.
Izzy: I always wondered...when marsupials get knocked up does their little pouch thing seal up? I find the marsupial birth process to be a bit confusing.
Ginger: As do I. Is the baby actually born out of the pouch? Or does it just kind of grow in there? I mean, they're like super tiny, right? Like a grain of rice.
Izzy: Apparently they can weigh as little as 0.03 ounces at birth. They are born (presumably out of the roo's hoo-ha) and then crawl into the pouch where they keep on nursing (so, do kangaroos have nipples in their pouches?) and developing. They stay in there and don't leave for like 8 months to a year I think. Marsupials are so fucking weird.
Ginger: Seriously weird. I wonder if they're ever mistaken for bugs?
Izzy: The baby roos?
Ginger: Yeah, and like scratched off.
Izzy: Hahaha that would suck!
Ginger: Right? Kangaroos are sooo strange.
Izzy: I think I'd be a good kangaroo because I like to stash things, jump around, and kick people in the chest.
**********
Izzy: Arson, death, prostitution, affairs...why don't I watch Melrose Place?
**********
[The Virtues of the Gnome Cottage]
Izzy: I want a sailor outfit. I am also waiting for the day when we're out traveling and exploring, and stumble across a location that we both instantly know is meant to be the gnome cottage. That's how it goes in my head...a joyous discovery.
Ginger: Mine too...like we wander upon a lake, and decide we need to stay and build the cottage.
Izzy: In my head the cottage is on a hill with a stone path (surrounded by lots of wildflowers) going down to the lake (on the right side if you're facing the front of the cottage) where our ship is waiting and there are lots of willow trees. On the left of the cottage is our hangar. Lots of open meadows around but our cottage is shaded by tall trees, and we have a giant mushroom in the front to sit and read under on nice days with a light breeze and sunshine!
Ginger: That's almost exactly my picturing! Except the hill part, but literally identical. It's fate...we must find this place.
Izzy: It's only a small hill, barely able to be classified as a hill, and a short distance to the lake :) Ohhh and lots of creeping ivy or that hanging moss stuff on the cottage to add charm and a feeling of home. And of course a big chimney for our warm fireplace to sit in front of with hot cocoa in the winter. Lots of marshmallows, of course.
Ginger: Can we have a hot chocolate room with brown walls and big white mushy bean bags as furniture?
Izzy: Hahaha that'd be so cute! We can make the walls look like you're inside a fun mug. It should be round!
Ginger: Yes! We can have a turret and that can be the top room.
Izzy: Or it can be a treehouse! Oooh so many ideas...I want a trampoline and a moon bounce in the meadow or in the backyard somewhere, and a tire swing off of one of the willows.
Ginger: We can also have a tire swing into the lake!
Izzy: I was picturing it as such :)
Ginger: -sigh- This gnome cottage will be the crowning achievement of my life.
Izzy: Indeed. I'll never want to leave and go back to the "real" world.
Ginger: Fuck that. We can sustain ourselves and take drugs for days at a time.
Izzy: Life plan: made.
**********
Ginger: Ethan's mom got me a Snuggie for Christmas. Thought you should be kept informed. I hope it's the Weezer one. Perhaps we can set it aflame?
Izzy: It's probably fireproof. And made out of dragon scales and evil.
Ginger: I think those meet the California guidelines for flammable materials.
**********
Izzy: Our cool factor is augmented when we're together...we're obviously meant to be a duo. I mean, the kids from Captain Planet were cool on their own but together they formed a mega earth-friendly crime-fighting blue-green dude. That's kind of what I equate us to. On that note we seriously need to get sweet power rings.
Ginger: Power rings would definitely enhance our power while together. I think they should also match our jet packs and hot air balloons.
Izzy: Or they can be mood rings, usually fixed on whatever colour is assigned to AWESOME.
**********
Izzy: Every time I go to NC my obvious priority is to get laid by a man who adores me. Aka anyone with eyes and a brain, what upppp!
**********
Ginger: Addie's birthday is going to be insaaane (in the membrane, obvs).
Izzy: Cypress Hill reference ftw.
**********
Ginger: If I just used the term "sexy getaway", I have been reading Cosmo too much.
Izzy: It was kind of awesome and in my head I pictured something very drug store romance novel-esque, Fabio included.
**********
Izzy: We have a special bond and I think it confuses other people, like the smell of camels does to horses.
**********
Izzy: I wish I was Rafiki. Then I could hold baby lions up on clilffs, smack people with my staff, and wipe my glowy cave paint berry juice on peoples' foreheads without consequence.
Ginger: I'm sure we could still do that, but we'd have to move to the free people commune in northern California.
Izzy: Do they allow you to hit people with sticks? That might still be unacceptable. I do enjoy communes though.
Ginger: I think if it was for a life-changing experience to re-define who you are as a person, like it was for Simba, it would be.
**********
Ginger: Sitting next to a boy putting "lumberjack" on his résumé. Thanks, Pennsylvania. Also, bought drugs in class while the teacher was out of the room. The only good PCI does for me. My day has been fairly eventful thus far.
**********
[On hilljacks at Wal-Mart]
Ginger: Is her brother the union man from Wife Swap?
Izzy: I wouldn't doubt it. Maybe her close cousin...but in those sorts of families, everyone's a close cousin.
Ginger: Nice use of double entendre, bestie.
**********
[Upon spying a very awful fashion choice]
Ginger: Please gaze upon this unfortunate equestrian coat with me.
Izzy: Hahahahaha ewwww.
Ginger: On a giiiiant lez too. The poor unfortunate fashion victims I prey upon using Port Authority Transportation...
Posts
