Unmedicated ADD

Ginger: Soooo Joe put flour in my hairdryer last night, so when I turned it on this morning flour went everywhere and now my hair smells like burned bread, as well as our bathroom...it was hilarious though.

**********

[On the perks of dating Navy personnel]

Izzy: He's tall, can whisper me sweet nothings in Spanish, I can take awesome sailor pin up shoots and say "hey sailor" all the time (with a wink of course), and speak openly of my love for seamen.

Ginger: Ahahaha, based on all of those perks I'm making Ethan join the Navy...esp. the Spanish sweet nothings and winking.

**********

Ginger: YES...drugs for business and pleasure.

**********

Izzy: The only kind of heroine I like is the kind that wears capes.

Ginger: And spandex to show off her well-developed glutes from fighting crime. 

**********

Ginger: I might need your help reorganizing this blog, I don't think it's confusing but my train of thought is like a herd of cats.

**********

Ginger: If we become famous, I'm buying a pair of britches just to wear when I'm feeling snappy and powerful...with suspenders of course.

Izzy: And perhaps a vest and pocket watch.  And by perhaps I really mean indubitably.  

Ginger: Monocle as well?

********** 

Ginger: We will be such ballin' old people...full of tattoos and liquor.

**********

Izzy: I only know how to fuck peoples' shit up or pie them in the face.  I am sadly poorly-equipped when it comes to pranks that aren't in some way harmful.

**********

Izzy: I feel like if any song was an appropriate theme song for us it'd be Regulators...you'd be Warren G and I'd be Nate Dogg.

**********

[From Beastie Boys to Golden Girls?]

Izzy: For some reason, when I hear Intergalactic Planetary by the Beastie Boys, I feel invincible.  I probably shouldn't listen to this on acid.

Ginger: You would try to fly from the roof with wings made out of feather dusters and melted Yankee candles.

Izzy: True, but if someone was persistent enough they could probably get me to do that sober.

Ginger: Good point...but halfway finished we'd probably run out of feather dusters, drive to WalMart to get more, and get sidetracked by play-doh and bicycle horns.

Izzy: I wish my car horn played La Cucaracha or the Mexican Hat Dance.

Ginger: I've wanted a horn that sings La Cucaracha since that one episode of Boy Meets World when their aunt or something shows up and has one.

Izzy: It was their grandma aka Blanche from The Golden Girls.  I know too much about this...

**********

[On aging]

Izzy: What are we going to do when we're old and neither of us remember? Probably just surprise attack people in the nursing home by leaping at them, cardigan sweaters all spread out like wings...sword fighting with our canes...mackin' it to hot doctors and nurses.  I'm officially excited.

Ginger: That sounds like everything I've ever wanted to do in one place.  And as soon as I read "nursing home" I thought about surprise attacking people with cardigan-wings...it's something I've always wanted to do.

Izzy: We should practice that soon.  Build up our leapin' strength.

Ginger: We'll have to start now if we want to prepare for large amounts of leaping...but, we'll also have massive collections of capes if we're sent to a nursing home.  Because we would totes still be on book tour and hot air ballooning for as long as we could.

Izzy: We'll have to get them to put a balloon launch pad on top of the roof.

Ginger: How much extra do you think they'll charge us a month? What if we gave all residents free rides in exchange for free use of the roof?

Izzy: Except dementia patients and those who would poo in our balloon basket.  Unacceptable.

Ginger: I will not tolerate willy-nilly pooing anywhere in, near, or around our basket.

Izzy: We should set up a speaker system in our balloon and insist on blasting the Red Hot Chili Peppers version of Love Rollercoaster at all times.

Ginger: Or Yellow Submarine to be ironic.

Izzy: I do enjoy irony.  Maybe a bit of Leaving on a Jet Plane on somber occasions.

Ginger: Like when we balloon around the world and will be gone for months.

Izzy: I can't wait to get old!

**********

[On Izzy's future as a fugitive]

Izzy: I just drove the 'Vette...I feel like I could've run over children and gotten away with it.

Ginger: Ahhahaha, did you hit any speed bumps on your short but lightning fast journey?

Izzy: Hell no, but I told the whole running children over thing to my brother Matt and he's like "yeah, or be hanging out the back with a shotgun and shooting at cops...".  I feel like he and I should never be allowed in that vehicle together.

Ginger: Oh Jesus...the next time I see a high-speed pursuit on TV, I'll look for a speeding orange bullet bound for the Motherland.

Izzy: The mounties would come for us.  And you can't drive the 'Vette in the winter.  It'll have to be Mexico, at least for a little while.  WHY AM I PLANNING THIS?!

**********

Ginger: Are all n00bz that dared challenge thee appropriately pwn3d?

Izzy: As soon as I gave 'em the stink eye they knew they had no chance.

Ginger: The weak and cowardly quiver under your powerful gaze...like a sexy Skeletor.

Izzy: I'm pretty sure that's the best compliment I've ever received.  I just about teared up a bit.